Sara Sidle, Not Grissom
by csijenniferlynn
Summary: Sara explains why she did not change her last name.


Author's Note: I haven't written a CSI fan fic in a long time! I am so excited about the upcoming season's premier, though, that CSI scenes keep cropping up in my mind, and as I'm dealing with insomnia, I figured I may as well jot something down. This one-shot is not earth-shattering, but Hodges' question in it is one I've always mulled over and Sara's response to him is the best answer I can come up with. I hope you enjoy it, and as always, thanks so much for reading!

CSI CSI CSI CSI CSI CSI CSI CSI CSI

"It's complicated." Sara felt that those two words were her response to many a question nowadays. Everything was complicated.

Already frazzled and fatigued, Sara started off her third consecutive shift in a bad mood. Anyone working for 24 straight hours with no sleep and little food would be cranky, but anyone working under those conditions while attempting to hunt down a child rapist was even more likely to be a bit tetchy, and Sara was certainly not someone to approach for conversation at the moment.

Unfortunately, as luck would have it, it seemed that whenever Sara was at her angriest and was overly exhausted, Hodges seemed to feel a need to broach a topic he shouldn't. Today was no different. Hodges never had got over Grissom's departure from the lab and still considered himself Grissom's best friend, even though Grissom never returned his messages, emails, letters, or texts. He often felt a need to pry into Sara's life with the enigma that was Gil Grissom; even though Sara was very tight-lipped about her personal life, Hodges would sometimes learn at least one tiny new snippet of information about his hero from her and that would keep him happy for a while.

"Sara, oh Sara, I have some Trace results for you, but I'm only coughing them up if you answer a question for me." Hodges had popped his head out of his lab to catch Sara as she stalked through the hall toward DB's office. Anyone with sense would have taken note of her posture and let her walk by without so much as making eye contact with her, but well, Hodges was Hodges.

"Hodges, I don't have time for any crap. Give me the results."

"No siree, or I guess no ma'am as the case may be, or, well, whatever. Anyway, no, you can't have your results until I get my answer."

"Hodges, you're ticking me off. What is so critically important that it comes before finding the bastard who raped three little girls? Seriously, grow up and focus on the case."

"Tsk, tsk, a bit touchy are we?" Hodges never did know when to shut up.

"Oh, and you're just a right little ray of sunshine, are you? For your information, wise cracker, I've had three hours of sleep in the past 36. Now, give me the damned results." Sara was on the verge of walking away without her results just to get the heck out of Hodges' sight when he blurted out his all-important question.

"So, why isn't your name Sara Grissom?"

"Really, Hodges? That's important for you to know? That's your business? That is more important than letting me get back to work trying to get a sick bastard a new home in a jail cell? Really?!" The pitch of Sara's voice was raising, and she could practically feel her blood boiling. At this point, Nick and Greg were both watching from afar, having heard Sara's voice growing louder and louder and not wanting to miss out on a good Hodges smack-down. Morgan dragged Finn over to the guys' vantage point just as Sara decided that she'd just go ahead and give Hodges an answer. After having been asked that same question what felt like at least a million times, mostly by Hodges, but also by every other nosy soul at the lab, she figured she might as well finally give an answer, especially if it would get Hodges to shut up.

"Have you ever stopped to think about that, Hodges? Why I never changed my name? It's complicated. Probably too much so for you to handle. Well, let's see, because it's certainly your business to know, I guess I'll elaborate." Sara rolled her eyes before continuing. "If someone yells 'Grissom' down this hall, who would you be looking for? Me? I don't think so. I'm Sara. I'm Sidle. I'm not Grissom. Have you ever stopped to think that my last name is the one and only tie I actually have to my family? Have you really ever thought about that? Not that having ties to my family is actually a good thing, but you know what, the name is all I've got, and I'd like to hold on to it."

Hodges was nearly ready to go hide under his lab table, Sara was radiating so much pent-up anger. She continued, "Have you ever stopped to think about the fact that Gil and I are too old to bring children into the world and that therefore, it really shouldn't make a damn difference to anyone whether or not we have the same last name? Have you thought about the fact that Grissom and I talked about this very same issue many times and we are perfectly happy with my last name remaining Sidle and that you ought to be perfectly happy with that, too? Do ever take the time to think about anything before you just blurt out stupid questions?"

"Is that a good enough answer for you, Sir?" Sara layed as much sarcasm as possible on the 'Sir,' ripped the paper from Hodges' hand, and stormed away. All onlookers were experiencing similar tightness in their stomachs due to a little fear as they watched Sara seethe, similar internal delight at seeing Hodges visibly cower, and similar shock at actually hearing Sara talk/bellow about her relationship with Grissom. Heck, as often as Sara talked about her marriage, the small crowd who had witnessed her outburst felt they'd just been privileged with the most intimate knowledge ever.

And Sara was just angry. And tired. She texted Grissom, "Hodges was on me about being Sara Grissom again. I think I might have shut him up for good about it this time. 'Grissom' wouldn't have quite the same meaning in bed if it was my name, too… love you." Then, she read her printout from Hodges, located just the clue she needed, found the bad guy, got his butt arrested, and slept for a good long time.


End file.
